Fishy story from the Ashbys' terrace

Jun 7 2008 John Bright

It was like a scene from Fawlty Towers. Tony and Suzy Ashby threw a dinner party at their picturesque cottage at Stonnal, Staffordshire, for a few friends.

Things were going swimmingly until time for the main course arrived. Tony, who runs Bar Utopia, Bar Epernay and Penny Blacks in Birmingham city centre and The Mailbox, had purchased several splendid sea bass at his local fish market.

The Aga’s power was almost spent following the preparation of several appetisers and the first course. So Tony had planned to use a gas-fired grill on the terrace, despite the fact that it was pouring down.

But, surprise, surprise, the canister he had purchased that morning was empty. “I thought it felt light when I lifted it from the car,” said Tony, who has been awarded the status of sommelier by the Champagne industry.

But you don’t achieve such a heady honour without being gifted with a little cunning and resourcefulness. Tony was immediately on the phone to his local Indian restaurant, where his friend the chef rescued the meal by agreeing to grill the fish.

Meanwhile, Suzy kept several fine vintages flowing for the guests, including Birmingham Chamber PR guru John Lamb and Lisa Kennedy, head of community relations in Barclays central region. Tony Bell, Lamb’s sidekick at the Chamber, was also there.

Eventually a breathless Tony A burst in like a captain arriving on the deck of his ship in a storm, clutching the splendidly cooked sea bass wrapped in tin foil. They were none the worse for wear for their unexpected final journey.

Guests recalled the Fawlty Towers episode when John Cleese had to dash to a local restaurant to rescue a gourmet meal at his hotel. But we were not told if Tony’s journey was interrupted by a car breakdown, resulting in him thrashing the car Cleese-like. 

However, the delay proved too much for Bell, who was overcome by several attitude adjusters and dozed off at the table.

Sleeping with the fishes, you might say.

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Two friends are looking to raise thousands of pounds for charity by taking the slow way down the length of Britain – by tractor.

Now, that is a fairly novel way of doing things. Roger Bedson and James Nott have been chugging 845 miles from John O’Groats to Lands End on board two classic red Massey Ferguson 135s from the 1970s.

They set off on their epic journey last week and the two saddle-sore heroes should now just about have arrived at the Cornish landmark.

The aim is to raise at least £30,000 for Cancer Research UK, in memory of James’ brother Edward, who died of cancer in 2002. 
James, 37, an arable farmer near Halstead in Essex, decided to raise money for the charity, after being impressed with the care Edward received during his illness.

Roger is a 39-year-old chartered surveyor, auctioneer and partner at the rural practice of Hinson Parry and Co, in Eccleshall, Staffordshire. He and James met at Reading University.

The trip saw the tractors doing 15mph along the most direct routes, excluding motorways, and up to 94 miles a day.

The full story is on their website – www.slowwaydown.org. It also has a link to Just Giving, for anyone who would still like to pledge a donation to such a worthy cause.

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A postscript to The Birmingham Post gala dinner at Birmingham University’s Great Hall to celebrate the paper’s 150th anniversary.

It comes in a recent blog from Dylan Jones, editor of men’s magazine GQ.

He writes: “A few months ago, I happened to be in Birmingham with David Cameron. He was speaking at a gala dinner, and I was there as his Boswell. Before the event we stopped at a local hotel to change into our monkey suits, although it soon became apparent that DC’s bow tie had been left back in London.

“Don’t worry, I have a spare,” I said, handing it over.

“Our future Prime Minister graciously accepted, but after briefly inspecting it, held it up as though it were a dead rat. “I know, I’m sorry,” I said, only too aware of its shortcomings. “It’s a ready tied.”

“I’m shocked,” said DC, using his best deadpan voice. “It’s like discovering Elle Macpherson has fake breasts.”

And Bright’s verdict?

What a tit.

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In comes a missive from Bright’s Caspian correspondent.

It’s from Digby, Lord Jones of Birmingham, in Baku, Azerbaijan, for the 15th annual Caspian Oil & Gas Show.

And amazingly he managed to meet up with some Villa fans. Gosh, they get everywhere.

Digby is in patriotic mode.

He tells me: “The UK is the biggest investor here by a mile. Proud of being British, proud of being a Brummie, but a long way from home.”

Oh, and Digby is doing another one of his charity cycle rides, on the 10th anniversary of his End2End John O’Groats to Lands End journey.

Next Friday (June 13) he and various chums are cycling the 65 miles from Worcester Rugby Club to Leicester Rugby Club.

My spy behind the bush tells me: “He has stopped drinking and eating puddings, and is running five miles on a Sunday morning. He is getting back his svelte and athletic figure.”

Yes, pull the other one. But it is all for a good cause.

Billed End2End – The Sequel: the saddle fights back, it is in aid of the Matt Hampson Trust and SpecialEffect.

Matt played for the development side at Leicester Tigers and, whilst training with England Under 21s, suffered neck and spinal injuries when a scrum collapsed, leaving him paraplegic. SpecialEffect helps young people with disabilities to use leisure technology.

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A great tale about ex-Birmingham Post editor Nigel Hastilow falls flat.

Supposedly, his house is on the market and he is going to work abroad.

All rubbish, he tells me when I accost him. But it transpires his former home in Henley in Arden is up for sale, with the owner off to Brussels.
“That’s how rumours start,” cautions Nigel.

Drat! And it was a bloody good rumour too.

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Anyone who doesn’t enjoy good food, stacks of drink, and the chance to show off their knowledge of pop music should stay away from Apres next week.

Hortons has hired the Summer Row venue on Thursday (June 12) for its annual charity quiz night, which aims to raise thousands for the Marie Curie hospice in Solihull.

To enter a team of five for the evening will cost £275 and includes a drinks reception, hot buffet and an opportunity to win great raffle prizes, along with the bragging rights for the top team. Hortons’ fund-raising events are often sober coffee mornings, but Bright is assured that conviviality will be the order of the day this time.

So get the thinking caps on.

All enquiries, but no quiz answers whatever you offer them, to Melissa Harvey or Tony Green, at Hortons, on 0121 236-6481.

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My old chum and property expert Glyn Pitchford has turned to verse after hearing that Bright’s vicar on earth has stood down as business editor of The Birmingham Post, though continuing to write the column.

Ode to Duckers
To Old Contemptibles off he went,
A break from writing ditties.
He’d drink and wile away his time,
Before returning to the presses.
Wot! No more Duckers? Thank God for that,
I always thought him far too fat.
With unkempt beard and stain-proof jacket,
He’d work the month and earn his packet.
To be business editor of the Post,
Is not something he should boast.
But yet he turned in 18 years,
Quite a record, hold back the tears.
Only joking, bring back the lad,
He really wasn’t such a cad.

And he admits: “I struggled to find a word which rhymed with Duckers – which  wasn’t rude!”

That’s enough from the Poet Laureate of Colmore Row.

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John Bright Trophy latest

All may not be what it seems on the cricket field. The West Bromwich Building Society began their John Bright Trophy title defence in familiar style on Wednesday losing  their opening match by 15 runs to an impressive KPMG side.

It might not sound that good until you remember WBBS have always lost their first game in their three years playing in Birmingham’s corporate cricket tournament.
KPMG main matchwinners were Richard Evans (32) and Lewis Soden (35 not out), whose skilful batting and outstanding running between the wickets were mainly responsible for the accountants reaching a sizeable 153/7 in 16 overs on a slow-paced pitch..
On Thursday, the West Bromwich flag was kept flying by the town’s other side in the tournament, Bond Wolfe, who secured an uncharacteristically comfortable seven wicket win against a depleted DTZ side in social league of the tournament sponsored by Williams de Broe. Limelight stealer was the property firm’s Jonathan Forrest, whose normal party trick is to go home leaving his shoes in the Britannic Park pavilion.
But on Thursday, he clean bowled a DTZ player, achieved a run out and promoted to number three impressively stonewalled his way to 11 not out hitting his first ever boundary, a superbly struck long-on drive for four.. Well done Jon!

Results Week 6:

n Wed June 4 – KMPG 153/7 in 16 overs (L Soden 35 rtd, R Evans 32, D Simpson 29*, B Cambridge 1-4) West Bromwich Building Society 138/5 (B Cambridge 36 rtd, P Battersby 32*, S Griffiths 2-10) in 16 overs. KMPG won by 15 runs. n Thursday June 5 – DTZ 78 in 16 overs (M Homer 16, C Beddington 2-6, M Comley  2-1) Bond Wolfe 79/3 in 10.7 overs (J Mattin 18, C Beddington 17*). Bond Wolfe won by seven wickets.

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All may not be what it seems on the cricket field. The West Bromwich Building Society began their John Bright Trophy title defence in familiar style on Wednesday losing  their opening match by 15 runs to an impressive KPMG side.

It might not sound that good until you remember WBBS have always lost their first game in their three years playing in Birmingham’s corporate cricket tournament.

KPMG main matchwinners were Richard Evans (32) and Lewis Soden (35 not out), whose skilful batting and outstanding running between the wickets were mainly responsible for the accountants reaching a sizeable 153/7 in 16 overs on a slow-paced pitch..

On Thursday, the West Bromwich flag was kept flying by the town’s other side in the tournament, Bond Wolfe, who secured an uncharacteristically  comfortable seven wicket win against a depleted DTZ side in social league of the tournament sponsored by Williams de Broe.

Limelight stealer was the property firm’s Jonathan Forrest, whose normal party trick is to go home leaving his shoes in the Britannic Park pavilion. But on Thursday, he clean bowled a DTZ player, achieved a run out and promoted to No 3 impressively stonewalled his way to 11 not out hitting his first ever boundary, a superbly struck long-on drive for four.. Well done Jon!
Results Week 6
Wed June 4 – KMPG 153/7 in 16 overs (L Soden 35 rtd, R Evans 32, D Simpson 29*, B Cambridge 1-4) West Bromwich Building Society 138/5 (B Cambridge 36 rtd, P Battersby 32*, S Griffiths 2-10) in 16 overs. KMPG won by 15 runs.
Thursday June 5 – DTZ 78 in 16 overs (M Homer 16, C Beddington 2-6, M Comley  2-1) Bond Wolfe 79/3 in 10.7 overs ( J Mattin 18, C Beddington 17*). Bond Wolfe won by 7 wkts.