Bad behaviour at the Henley Regatta

Jul 12 2008

Tales of the river bank … accusations of meanness abound as the West Midlands contingent at Henley Regatta throw the canapés at each other.

Alan Adam, boss of Moseley Rugby Club but a keen rowing junkie, maintains he arrived at the Dew Drop Inn, got hit for two rounds and even had to keep Birmingham businessman Tony Taylor’s good lady wife in drink.

And then nobody would buy him one back. A sorry business. But Taylor is having none of it. He tells me: “The real story is that I got to the bar at the Dewdrop – blew £25 on a few pints/wines for the assembled crew – then the AA man had a fit of generosity having (we can only assume) found £30 on the floor and treated half the pub – I exaggerate slightly – to a drink, including a very nice bottle of house wine, of which indeed Mrs T did get a glass.

“Indeed it turned out that the AA man’s landlady over many years was so desperate not to accommodate him and his delightful lady Morag that she had sold up and left the area.

“The AA man’s noted generosity obviously extends to his choice of vehicle. His 15-year-old Vauxhall – the one that we had to pull out of the ditch outside the Dew Drop several years ago – has been replaced by a gas guzzling Mondeo at vast cost, £4,000 off a bloke in a sheepskin coat we believe.”

No sign of one-time Lee Crowder boss and Wilkes new man Stephen Gilmore, with the troops speculating that he could have pulled the poverty and overwork line again.

No sign either of PwC’s Nick Venning, no doubt visiting the Mauritius office at this time of year. Still I am glad to say that thirst did eventually persuade the gang to clear the moths from their pockets.

Taylor goes on: “We proved once again that Brakspears is probably the finest session beer in the world – the real ale bar in the stewards enclosure did a roaring trade all day!

“Our commiserations must go to Miles Loveday, whose London Rowing Club eight were beaten by the German Under-23 national squad, posing as amateurs from some little known boat club!”

Typical dirty trick on a par with invading through Belgium, I say. Still, mean to the end, Taylor is looking to get his second daughter off the books.

He notes: “Sarah Taylor looked stunning and had several young male graduates who had sailed a narrowboat to the regatta looking at her all dewy-eyed all day.”

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Graduate surveyor Alex Tross of Colliers CRE set a steaming pace as he lived out a dream of becoming a Lewis Hamilton, sat at the wheel of a Formula One on a Grand Prix race track.

He recorded the fastest lap of the day – 1.29.696 minutes – a fraction ahead of Lambert Smith Hampton’s Tim Holtham, with Kelvin Craddock of Jones Lang LaSalle in third place.

No, they weren’t at Silverstone or at Donington, but just a few miles away from the likely new home of the British Grand Prix after 2010 – in Burton-on-Trent.

They were attending an agents’ launch of Odin Estates’ latest office and business space development, Wetmore Maltings, on the site of former Bass maltings, where the racing was a popular attraction.

The agents, from Burton, Birmingham and the surrounds, stepped into the F1 cars and took the wheel of the simulated racing cars to ‘race’ around the circuit watched by admiring onlookers.

It might be invaluable experience for one of the agents if they have the opportunity to promote commercial development at the new Grand Prix venue up the road!

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Not content with disturbing the countryside with their Christmas Soap Box Grand Prix, the well titled MAD club recently secured Dolly Parton, Village People and the Spice Girls for an X Factor talent show at the Meynell Arms, near Burton-on-Trent. Sadly the aforementioned were booked elsewhere so much cheaper stand-ins  entertained the locals.

Major John Gallagher presided over the massacre of the debatable classics purveyed by these ‘legends of pop’ with Dolly Parton or rather the Dolly Partonettes rightly claiming the top prize of a bottle of champagne – between the four of them.

Such rural eccentricity is fuelled by several professional types whose careers would take a backward step should Bright publish their names.

I’m told Elvis Presley also put in a fleeting appearance together with a Sugar Plum Fairy of doubtful sexual provenance. This nonsense is only mitigated by the ridiculous amount of money these delinquents raise.

However, Bright remains deeply concerned about the invasion of these business types to the shires  What was ever wrong about a quiet pint of old Grommit and a smelly dog at your feet in the front bar with no more than the landlord’s moaning to distract you from your daydreams of yesteryear?

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More outtakes from the recent dinner to honour iconic motor racing commentator Murray Walker who was being inducted into Birmingham’s Walk of Fame on Broad Street.

Naturally, Debra Davis, director of public affairs and communications for the council, was there, along with partner Al Grindley.

And it was definitely a night for spotting the celebrity. And Al, a bit of a musician, was doing just that. “I went up to the bar and there was a big black guy there. I said ‘don’t I know you?’ And it was George Benson.”

There was former boxer Nigel Benn and guitarist with Black Sabbath, Tony Iommi. And the couple’s favourite Murray moment?

“There is nothing wrong with that car, except it’s on fire.”

Yep, there’ll never be another Murray Walker.

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Word reaches me of a Birmingham Development Company party held in a secret underground tunnel under The Mailbox – an old postal link to New Street station. Whilst most of the industry are wallowing in the credit crunch, Alan Chatham decided to showcase his latest career move – international rock star!

All in celebration of progress at The Cube.

Anyway, Birmingham’s latest music sensation, ‘The Cubes’, played their first gig. The band starred Chatham and Neil Edginton on guitar and vocals along with members of German cladding company, Haga.

Could this be the beginning of a world tour? The party was also joined by special guest Niki Evans, of X-Factor fame, who also sang a few numbers.

In true BDC style, the event was wild and carried on long into the night. Bravo.

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So, there’s swot Mat Danks, slaving away at 6.30pm at AWM Towers (despite being on his notice), wrapping up for the day and just turning his attentions to leaving for the pub when all of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off.

Being the only one – except, he claims, crawling shamelessly, for chief executive Mick Laverty – still around in the top team, Mat decides it can’t possibly be a drill at that time and makes his way down to the car park. Of course, it turns out the whole thing is a false alarm – one of the staff downstairs had set the toast on fire.

(Toast? I thought they only ate cake.)

Wouldn’t have been so bad, but it delayed the Danks arrival in the Britannia in Upper Gornal by 20 minutes.

And to add insult to injury it had been caused by sustainability manager Simon Slater – the man whose job it is to tell everybody to produce less carbon not make more!

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Britain’s monsoon weather of 2007 made an unwelcome comeback this week but this didn’t entirely stop batsmen continuing their assault on passing cars with sixes at Britannic Park, Moseley, in the John Bright Trophy.

On Tuesday the sun thankfully shone when No5 Chambers captain Abdul Hafeez was in regal form setting a new batting record in Birmingham’s corporate cricket tournament with an undefeated 76.

After the Shakespeare Putsman bowlers made the tactical mistake of taking too many wickets, the former Worcestershire batsman, who had earlier reached the tournament retirement score of 35, was able to resume.

So the carnage continued in a batting display that saw Hafeez send a massive lofted  drive into orbit that travelled some 120 yards disappearing out of the ground to the Moor Green Lane roundabout.

Experienced league umpire Don Williams couldn’t remember seeing a bigger blow and Hafeez bettered the previous trophy record individual score of  75 scored by Darren Culbard for Wragge & Co in 2006 by one run.

Chasing a 179 total, Shakespeare Putsman, who earlier this summer defeated trophy holders West Bromwich Building Society, finished a creditable 16 short of victory after Michael Young and Michael Lynch had both scored 35s.

Finally, a mayday warning for Birmingham motorists Abdul is due to be batting again on Monday against a PricewaterhouseCoopers side seeking a semi-final place in the tournament sponsored by Williams de Broe.

*Results – Week 11
Tues July 8 – No5 Chambers 177 in 15.7 overs (A Hafeez 76*, M Sabie 27, D Astill 21, S Daniels 2-5 B McLeod 2-14) Shakespeare Putsman 164/9 (M Young 36 rtd, M Lynch 36 rtd, M Duck 2-13, D Mason 2-15). No 5 Chambers won by 13 runs.
Thurs July 10 – Forfeit win for St Philips Chambers.