John James and the naked lunch

Jul 25 2008

In comes a call from the South of France. It’s from John James who informs me he is out there for a month, is with his wife – yes, really – and sunbathing in the nude. This is too much information even for Bright.

But James goes on to reveal he is very much behind the The Birmingham Post Long Lunch campaign. He recalls how it was the norm in the 70s and 80s and virtually all networking and deals got done via food and alcohol.

It almost brings tears to my eyes.

Mind you, James has never lost the knack of long lunches, long breakfasts or long dinners for that matter.

Anyway, the wine is flowing at chez James, he is gazing up at spectacular mountains and the pool awaits.

Personally, I hope he chokes on the stuff. After all, a director of Gary Smith’s Intandem Films, he has been quite insufferable since returning from Cannes full of himself.

His favourite line being how passing Steven Spielberg at breakfast the film director hailed him with the words: “Hi, John.”

On first name terms with the stars, eh?

I fear we won’t hear the last of it.

No doubt he will soon be addressing everyone as darling.

Still, I did like one tale he came back with. Seems a scrap had just broken out in one of the bars when in walked Mike Tyson.

You’ve never seen a fight stop quite so quickly!

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Planning the most “glamorous, exciting and unforgettable” wedding of the year (well, that’s what it says on the regal-looking invitation cards) is not without its problems.

As Lou Jones, chief executive of Birmingham-based management consultancy C3 Consulting, discovered to her cost during her “hen weekend” in Lisbon.

After a “girly” four-day stay in the Portuguese capital with 19 friends and colleagues, who ensured a stylish send-off prior to her marriage next month with King Sturge property chief Chris Monk, the piece de resistance was a sumptuous night out at the swish Restaurante Senhora Mae.

But Lou, who is also celebrating 20 successful years as head of C3 Consulting, missed out on the dance floor at the night club session which followed because she had twisted her ankle earlier.

So, as the only casualty of the night went off to bed while she could still stand (who mentioned the drink?), the Naughty Nineteen partied on, and on, and on ... pausing only to answer a dashing waiter, full of admiration for the stamina of the Birmingham Belles, who asked: “Which one is the bride?”
“She’s in bed!” giggled the girls.
“No!”
“With a Portuguese man, then?
“No!!  She’s in bed with a twisted ankle.”
“Oh! It could only happen to the English,” came the reply.

Still, you can’t accuse Lou of not completing the course. This weekend is the third and final leg of her hen party extravaganza. So watch out Birmingham.

Mind you, bridegroom-to-be Chris, a former chairman of Birmingham Forward, marked his own last few days of bachelorhood with a “stag do” in Dublin recently.

All in keeping with the wedding’s black-and-cream theme, of course, for on the itinerary was a trip to Guinness.

Now that could really be the way to end up with a problem!

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A Midland solicitor won’t be reaching for the mop in a hurry after falling over one and breaking her wrist.

Hayley Goodwin, who works for Else Solicitors, took a tumble while enjoying the bright lights of London. A restaurant in Soho to be exact.

Well, it has to be done from time to time.

“I tripped over the mop and fell down the stairs,” she wails. “I put my hands out to try and stop myself and ended up with a broken wrist.”

Yes, a likely story Hayley, but, all right then, we’ll believe you!

Still, I should stick to the Birmingham balti belt in future.

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Tony Taylor picks up on my tale from last week about two old timers, John Matthews and Mitch the dog, walking the lanes of deepest Worcestershire.

Taylor tells me: “I bumped into him on Saturday – clutching The Birmingham Post. He was dead chuffed by the article ... and John seemed quite pleased too!”

Boom, boom.

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It will be the battle of the accountants deciding who is Birmingham’s leading corporate cricket side after KPMG and Ernst & Young won their semi-final matches in the John Bright Trophy this week.

On a brilliantly sunny Thursday evening at Britannic Park, Moseley, E & Y’s bowling strength gave them a 36 run win v PricewaterhouseCoopers in the tournament sponsored by fund managers Williams de Broe.

Chasing 154/7, PwC were in the hunt until Mark Adams (20) was run out by a superb direct hit throw by long-on fielder Mohammad Haider  and their captain Syed Abbas had to retire after reaching 39 with a superb pulled six off  pace bowler Simon Bird.

After these two departed, PwC’s later batsmen struggled to score any runs in the final three overs against the bowling of Bird and Dan Brockman (2-5).

On Tuesday, KPMG defeated a game GVA Grimley side by 70 runs. They were in trouble at 118 for 8 after Grimley’s Damien Hampton in an inspired medium-pace spell took 3 for 8. It needed the return of Craig Hughes (51) to the crease to guide KPMG to a formidable 171 total.

Finally a message for any John Bright Trophy sides trying to contact tournament organiser Ross Reyburn. Ditch that number you were given as Ross is once more the only journalist in Britain without a mobile phone.

Finding sending and locating text messages beyond his technical capabilities, he gave the device to his wife. Well done, Ross.

Results – Week 13
Tues  July 22  - KPMG 171 in 16 overs (C Hughes 51, K Bell 26. C Eastham 21, D Hampton 3-8, R Marant 1-8) GVA Grimley 101 in 14 overs (E Coley 18, A Turner 16, H Mahmood 2-10, M Trivedi 2-10).  KPMG won by 70 runs.
Thurs July 24  - Ernst & Young 154/7 in 16 overs  (S Bird 35 rtd, C Flindall 28*, E Crust 2-16, S Burge 2-15)  PricewaterhouseCoopers 118/7 (S Abbas 39 rtd, M Adams 20, D Brockman 2-5, A Nazam 2-10, S Bird  2-15) . E & Y won by 36 runs.