A Simple Toon for Geoff
Some decent results the other week from Solihull-based skincare company Accantia, now re-named Simple Health & Beauty.
Sales up; profits up.
And new hope for Newcastle United, favourite football team of Simple chief executive (couldn’t resist it) Geoff Percy.
Deep in the relegation mire, and just when you need him, God returns in the shape of Alan Shearer.
And Geordies and exiled Geordies alike, who love to delude themselves that their team is the world’s greatest whatever official tables say, are back believing.
No matter that the second coming of the last Messiah, one Kevin Keagan, proved un-Wise (get it?).
"Shearer is the man to lead us into the Promised Land."
Oh dear, the Newcastle football fan really is a simple soul.
Percy will no doubt hope that more abuse from Bright will see the team take off and save themselves from Championship football come August.
I fear for Shearer; nobody should have to carry the expectations of the Geordie nation on their own.
I keep on telling Geoff that really he should have a bit of fun and buy Birmingham City.
But he is not that foolish.
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Beware fire alarms, warns the internet rumour machine.
Why? Because …
A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all the employees were present (approximately 5,000 people).
As per past fire-drill practices, the entire staff were quickly evacuated within three minutes, and everyone gathered outside the complex in designated areas waiting for a further announcement.
Before long, the fire drill officer in-charge made the following broadcast over the loud-speaker system:
“My dear colleagues.
“With sincere regret, I have been asked to announce that for many of you, this will be your last evacuation drill with us. Due to the on-going recession and bad business climate, the company is laying off almost 50 per cent of its staff. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the building.
“And if your swipe-card does not work, then it means that you have been laid off, in which case you will not be allowed inside, and all your personal belongings will be couriered to you by tomorrow.
“The company is using this innovative approach as we do not want to choke our email system with lay-off notices and farewell messages going by the thousands, and we also wish to avoid any fighting inside the office and the consequent security issues.
“We hope you have had a rewarding career with us. Now please move back in … and good luck.”
Maybe not real; but companies just might get ideas.
