Negotiating the minefield of choosing a grammar
Did you know the Dalai Lama is afraid of caterpillars? No, me neither. There’s no mention of this on his website, dalailama.com.
--------------------
For knowledge that runs a little bit deeper than received wisdom, you need to go to a book, that old analogue device capable of storing thousands of bits of interesting stuff, all wrapped up in a pocket-sized binding with a picture on the front. I recommend Mitchell Symons’ weighty tome, This, That And The Other, a book described as “more interesting than the Bible” by respected critic, Jeremy Clarkson.
And did you know the average four-year-old asks more than 400 questions a day? Usually it’s something to do with the toilet but their eggshell minds are working overtime just trying to understand the world.
Bits of trivia alone are no substitute for a proper education. This week has been a whirlwind of visits to seats of learning, as my eldest prepares to choose his secondary school for next year. He’s naturally bright and usually comes in the top flight in end of year tests and he wants to go to a grammar.
Fair enough.
We have been given a big thick book by the local authority and have to decide on six choices for his next school, one of which must be a comprehensive. The grammar schools didn’t prove too difficult, there are some proper bobby dazzlers and we’ve had the guided tours of three this week, with two more over two days. The very poshest ones, you know them, they’re named after a potato, were like something out of Brideshead Revisited. Ivy-clad walls, big booming corridors, well-stocked with technology.
The open evenings were packed with pushy parents and disinterested sons. The achievements of former pupils were carved in wood on the walls of the grand hall. The headmaster’s address stressed the achievements at GCSE level but also underlined the value of a well-rounded education in a nurturing environment.
Outside the gates, some shady characters were pushing leaflets advertising their courses in tuition for the grammar school entrance exam.
For a mere £1,500 you can be guided through the minefield of multiple choice questions on maths or verbal reasoning in order to grease the passage into these citadels of knowledge and humanity.
At each school, the head-teacher also advised us to send these predatory scamps packing as the schools look very dimly on this form of cramming. They say putting too much pressure on children to achieve is likely to lead to all sorts of side-effects, including a loss of self- esteem if they fail.
Kids who win a place simply by repeatedly practicing a simple test are likely to lag behind at school when demands are made above their natural intelligence. It also strikes me as grossly unfair, leading to a selection process in which only the minted get the education, leaving the poor people the only option of the local comp. Where’s the element of choice in that?
The best preparation you can give your child for sitting what we used to call the 11-Plus, is plenty of attention. Talk to them about what they’re reading, take an interest in their homework and help them out if there are areas they don’t feel strong in.
The whole process has been an eye-opener and my phone’s been ringing off the hook with parents of my boy’s friends asking me which schools I was choosing.
The general feeling in Handsworth is the state secondary schools aren’t up to much. This may be a legacy of the prejudice generally held against this part of town or it may be a direct consequence of the lack of interest in run-down parts of Birmingham by central government. One of the tours was around Perry Beeches school, just within our catchment area and mighty impressive too. It’s easy enough to paper over the cracks of a home when you’re selling it, but you can’t do that with a school. The best way to see if you’re going to feel comfortable sending your kid there is to have a look at the pupils and at Perry Beeches they were quiet, studious and polite.
