Iron Angle: Summer term report for Birmingham's leading councillors
It’s the summer holidays at the Birmingham City Council Academy of Local Government (excellence rating delayed, again). How, Iron Angle wonders, might chief executive Stephen Hughes sum up the performance of councillors in an end of the academic year report?
Here’s what Mr Hughes ought to be saying, but probably never would.
Whitby M. Another interesting 12 months for Whitby, re-elected once again as Head Boy by his fellow prefects. He seems to have got over that nastiness a year ago when Brew R came close to toppling him. I cannot fault his enthusiasm, but he really must attempt to speak in concise and understandable sentences. I fear the English language and Michael, sadly, will always be total strangers.
Tilsley P. I continue to wonder whether Paul really has the temperament for high office. A little more time spent attempting to be polite to all members of the academy, regardless of political affiliation, and less time spent on relentlessly pursing his environmental portfolio would help develop a more rounded character. I cannot bring myself to comment on his chairmanship of Be Birmingham.
Rudge A. If Alan was even half as good as he thinks he is, he would be very, very good indeed. Having said that, he remains by far one of the most capable boys in the academy and certainly the only one remotely likely to have forced through the equal pay and single status agenda without reducing Birmingham to months of trade union militancy.
Lawrence L. Another constant talker, unfortunately. Les must try to rid himself of the idea that speaking at great length about the minutia of education is somehow impressing his colleagues. It is not. A little humility over the Khyra Ishaq tragedy would not have gone amiss, either.
Lines J. John likes to give the impression of toughness, indeed you might think he works deliberately to cultivate a combative image. Underneath all of the bluster, however, I suspect this is someone who really yearns to be loved.
Brew R. A new addition to the prefects’ room. He owes his promotion to an audacious attempt to topple Whitby M, but history shows that he who wields the dagger rarely captures the crown. Randal has the nightmare task of balancing the academy’s finances. I wish him, well, but do not anticipate much progress.
Huxtable T. One is always suspicious, naturally, of boys who insist on being called Timothy rather than Tim. However, Huxtable’s recent appointment as a prefect with responsibility for transportation matters has proved just what a hard working and dilligent boy he is. Transportation buffs are always a little weird, especially those with an unhealthy fascination with train and bus timetables, but Timothy appears almost normal as far as the genre is concerned.
