Neil Connor: How can I stop my cat being a junkie
Someone very close to me has an expensive drug habit, and it is getting me worried.
My cat has just began a £30-a-month course of pills thanks to the PDSA.
No, not the the Pete Doherty Services for Animals, but the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals, a charity which cares for sick and injured pets.
Moon Beam (she was named when I was going through my Frank Zappa phase) fell ill about two weeks ago with a heart condition that has baffled the vets.
Although I have to praise the people who examined her.
There I was, on a Bank Holiday weekend, with a sick cat and little idea of where to take her.
But the local vets gave me the details, and after a short drive across the city, Moon Beam was in the hands of Dr Ure and Dr Pesta.
Sitting in the waiting room was, for anyone who considers themselves to be a pet lover, a simply awful experience.
Cats and dogs who had been involved in road accidents were waiting patiently with their owners; in fact the entire families of their owners, such is the British love affair with pets.
Dr Ure, who was working the night shift, saw Moon Beam and diagnosed shock, which meant that she had to spend the next two days on a drip.
When I got the call to say that she had brightened up somewhat from the lethargic state that she was in and that I could take her home, I thought the worst was over.
But that is not the case.
Before she became sick, I would get home from work and spend the next half hour or so being chased around the house by an irate cat attempting to entice me to the cupboard which contains the Felix.
She would have eaten her own body-weight of the stuff each day if she had the ability to open one of the pouches herself (which admittedly, can be difficult).
However, Moon Beam now barely has the energy or the inclination to even lick the jelly from her favourite dish.
Even skint students can manage to do that at a the end of a particularly testing term.
She is going through that stage that many cat owners have experienced - the refusing food with stubborn indignation stage.
I have been told by the vets that if she doesn't eat, then the prospects are not good.
She is losing weight fast, so who knows how long she has got.
I have tried everything; sardines, raw meats, prawns.
But the only thing that passes through her lips is a rare slurp of milk.
So I have three choices: Take her to the vet for one last time for her to be put down.
Hope that she eats by her own volition, which is looking increasingly unlikely.
Or to take matters into my own hands and give her a chance of life.
So every night, when I get in from work, Moon Beam is fed her pill and a few doses of liquid food through a syringe that I pinched from the vets.
Many people say that, in my position, I should do the right thing and let her go.
Feeding a cat on drugs with a syringe is desperate, I know.
But all pet owners completely ignore rational human behaviour under such circumstances.
I will always hold out that she will slowly build her strength up, and then start eating again.
Then it is just the £30-a-month drug habit that will set Moon Beam apart from other healthy cats.
But until then I am going to need to find the cat equivalent of truffles, bacon sandwiches or chocolate.
Any food that can break this spell of starvation that seems to be cast over Moon Beam.
I have been stomping up and down the food isles at Tesco looking for that key food that could build her up again.
Maybe she likes roast duck? What about soft cheese? Carrots, soup, Fray Bentos pies? Anything!
If anyone has any ideas, I would be glad to hear it. neil.connor@birminghampost.net
* Anyone who would like to help fund the PSDA should visit http://www.pdsa.org.uk/
