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You never lose the Canon Sure Shot memories

The dude in the black jacket went for his pocket, pulled out his tool – and my legs buckled. Read

Get Back? I’m already there!

I may be becoming obsessive but that, I believe, is entirely the point. Read

Get away from it all with God

The job has an awful lot going for it so one wonders why monasteries are having such a hard time of it. Read

Snow sends us stupid

What is it about snow that is undeniably magical but at the same time is able to turn us into halfwits? Read

The Public is just a big embarrassment

This isn’t any old waste of space. For the people of West Bromwich, a deluded attempt to bring arts to the masses simply wasn’t good enough. Read

Tony Hart's Morph would be served with an ASBO these days

The death of TV presenter Tony Hart has been rightly mourned and despite not knowing the silver-haired chap I expect you, like me, couldn’t help but think: “That’s a shame.” Read

How the Swedes are tapping us for cash

WHEN did it all go wrong? How did it ever come to this? And, more specifically, when did we stop making decent taps? Read

Further proof that pop music in the 1980s really rocked

There are many reasons to feel depressed at the start of the new year: the trudge back to work, paying off Christmas debts, the fact that the next holiday seems light years away. Read

‘Killjoy’ Tudors taking fun out of kids’ hols

There are phrases you long to here at Christmas, such as “daddy, we didn’t know whether to get you the Aston Martin in Quantum of Solace silver, or black – so we got you both”. Read

The gloves are off at Christmas

I don’t care if it is Christmas – the gloves are off and I’m fighting back. Read

Wee girl Millie on way back

The great quotes of history become part of our common vocabulary, resonating down through the years, passed on from generation to generation. Read

Do not disturb on the night – I’m gagging for ‘celebrities’

I shouldn’t be, and I don’t want to be, but I am desperate for it. Read

BBC’s tawdry comedy of errors fails to raise a chuckle

The youths of today, they think they’ve got it all, that they know it all, when the truth is they really don’t know what they are missing. Read

Agony of the Aston Martin de-tox

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; it was the day they delivered the Aston Martin, it was the night they took her away … Read

Stayin' alive in time to beat

Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk ... Read

With nothing in my back pocket I am immune to the credit crunch

I don’t want to come across as smug but I think I have beaten the credit crunch. Read

Mandy and the dodgy jumper – it can only mean bad things

Oh, Mandy, what were you playing at? Read

You just don’t realise how funky my Funky Chicken dance is, kids

The BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is the best show on TV ever because everyone in our household watches it, except me. Read

‘Millions’ created by spin doctors is just waffle and hot air

My regular column in The Birmingham Post has boosted the West Midlands’ economy by £15 million in the past year, according to an independent and completely unbiased study by international media analysts McComb Consulting. Read

Time to get tough on child sex abusers

Several years ago, we lived in an ill-starred rented flat in a convivial cathedral city. Read