Lorne Jackson talks to a comedian and promoter with a serious message for ‘fly-by-night’ funnymen.
A couple of days after interviewing Phil McCullough in a Birmingham pub, he’s on the phone to me.
“I’ve been thinking about those things I told you,” he says. “I’m not going to come off sounding like some sort of asshole, am I?”
I can almost feel him squirming down the line.
“Not at all,” I say, confidently. Though when I get off the phone I glance over my notes, just to make sure.
Phil the a-hole? Not really. Though I do have quotes from Phil the fireball, Phil the fury.
McCullough is a stand-up comedian, who tells it like it is – on stage and off. A large part of his time is spent dragging his funnybones round Brum, making a name for himself in a tough market.
But he’s more than just a performer. Phil’s also one of the top comedy promoters in the region. Want to make a name for yourself on planet chortle? Then Phil’s your fellow. Though perhaps it wouldn’t be such a good idea to impress your CV on him at this very moment. New talent niggles him, these days.
McCullough claims the scene is being destroyed by fly-by-night funny men. He’s so enraged with the attitude of certain performers that he recently used the internet to name and shame one comedian who let him down badly.
Phil ranted on the West Midlands Comedy Forum website: “There is nothing more annoying than when, as a promoter, you are pestered by acts for months on end. Then, when you give the act a spot, he cites ‘family problems’ on the night of the show, and doesn’t turn up.
“Whatever reason he may give – ‘My car broke down’; ‘I forgot I was booked’; ‘I have another gig’ – this does not help the promoter, who has spent time, money and effort into putting on a night.”
In the same diatribe, Phil published a text message he received from one particular act who failed to turn up for a gig at a local Birmingham pub.
The message read: “Phil, I ain’t gonna lie. I got to the place, have seen the people that are there, and don’t fancy standing there with my fairy jokes and then getting stabbed.
“I don’t care if you think I’m chicken****. At least I’m not telling you I twisted my ankle or some b******s. Sorry it’s leaving it so late but if you have eyes and ears, you know my dog and pony show isn’t gonna fly there at all.”
Phil, from Kings Heath, entered the industry two-and-a-half years ago, and stands by his warrior words on the web. He believes all stand-ups – including those starting out – should have a professional work ethic.
“Those fly-by-nights really get to me,” says the 32-year-old, shaking his head. “I’m always willing to give somebody a chance, or even a second chance.
“If somebody really has a good excuse, then, of course, I’m okay with that. But the excuses are just getting limper and limper. Then I got that message, and that sent me over the edge. I got the text from the guy just eight minutes before he was meant to go on. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all night. Then I just opened my laptop and let rip.
