The chap's guide to buying sexy underwear for his missus

Dec 15 2008 by Richard McComb, Birmingham Post

I have done this kind of thing before, so I know the ropes. It gets easier each time but, rather like a penalty shoot-out, it’s impossible not to experience a twinge of panic.

I am gawping at row upon divine row of sensual lingerie: bras, knickers, basques, thongs, stockings, suspender belts and slinky garments of minimal construction, otherwise known as playsuits. I have no idea how the latter stay on – there are more holes than fabric – and I’m guessing they aren’t worn for creosoting the back fence.

The imagination wanders and a chap’s mind turns to how the sheer and lacy collections might look when worn, how they caress the flesh, the curves … It’s a red-blooded male’s idea of heaven – except it is also a kind of hell, because this delectable lingerie is in a shop, a shop staffed by women, who are looking at me, a bloke.

So what is a man like me doing in a ladies’ undies store? It’s Christmas, of course. It’s what we do at this time of year, buy lingerie for wives and girlfriends, even if the prospect scares the living daylights out of us.

Of course, it shouldn’t be a torment. After all, it’s only fabric and stitching, like socks really, just a smidgen more intimate.

Then there is the fact that purchasing bras and panties, let alone demure nurse outfits, is intrinsically linked with "IT", you know what, “extreme petting.” Oh, all right: sex. Buying stylish and attractive undies is tantamount to publicly declaring: “Yes, we enjoy an active sex life. Sometimes ,we’re a bit naughty. And we jolly well enjoy it, too.”

Then there is the fact that you don’t go to an alluring boudoir like Agent Provocateur at Birmingham’s Selfridges – which is where I am – if you have no interest in seeing the stuff worn. That’s what Marks & Spencer is for.

However, once you’ve got over the whole English reticence about hanky panky, choosing lingerie for the sunshine of your life is an absolute blast, one of the unsung joys of Christmas.

In a bid to demystify the whole business for our male readers, I agreed to head for the fourth floor of Selfridges to quiz Agent Provocateur’s assistant manager, Holly Fuller, about the do’s and don’ts of lingerie shopping for your sex goddess.

I quickly learn it is important to go with the flow, be confident, enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about being a lone man in a girls’ world. No-one will think you are a perv.

Holly makes the point that she and her assistants want to help men get great lingerie that “both parties can enjoy.” “That’s the thing about lingerie – it is for both of you,” says Holly. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

“For us, lingerie is about feeling sexy and confident as a woman, whether you have got someone to show it off to or not. Obviously, if guys are buying it for their girlfriend or wife, something else comes into it.”

Like seeing it on, or possibly off.

One thing you will need to know, chaps, is your woman’s boob size. Have a