Remember to relax
There's no gain without pain, but Jayne Howarth can't wait to return to Center Parcs...
You know you're in for a very long day when two children burst through your bedroom door at 6am eager to get their holiday started.
"Quick, soccer school starts at nine," said the smallest, jumping up and down. Just the three hours away, then.
Thankfully, as our break progressed, the early morning chorus became a little later until, on the last day, we had a proper lie in. Until 7.30am.
I'm not complaining (honestly). Center Parcs really squeezes energy out of children with the myriad activities on offer, so come bed time they are so exhausted they literally fall into a slumber as their heads hit the pillows.
Football school, tennis academy, jewellery class, teddy bear's picnic, swimming, trampoline and crazy golf were at the top of a very long list of activities highlighted by my two as they pored over the activity booklet for Longleat, which nestles alongside the stately home and safari park belonging to the Marquis of Bath in Wiltshire.
To say visitors are spoilt for choice when it comes to choosing activities would be an understatement. Anything from yoga to abseiling, falconry to quad biking, golf to scuba diving is available.
But these are all bolt-ons, so it is entirely up to you how deeply you want to dig into those pockets. However, take heed: before you know it you've forked out at least £150 for the "must-do" activities - and that's before you've even had a peek at what you, the adult, might want to do.
You see, it's not just a place for the children to enjoy: there are a multitude of activities, sports, art and crafts sessions and the Aqua Sana spa for starters. Then there are the obligatory pit stops at the numerous cafes for latte, milkshakes and cake. The list, as you might imagine, could go on.
I know plenty of families who have voiced their reluctance at booking a four-night Center Parcs break, complaining that they could go abroad for a week for the same price, but there are just as many who are practically evangelical about it.
I can see both sides: it is certainly not a cheap option for a family. A three-bedroom basic comfort villa in the Easter holidays at Longleat costs about £650 for four nights, rising to £947 for an executive villa, which has better (slightly) décor, en-suite bathrooms, daily maid service and towels.
Then you have to pay for food, most of the entertainment and activities. Before you know it, you've parted with £1,000.
But it is easy, child-centred, car-free, and - most importantly - great fun.
And Center Parcs has never tried to pretend it is a low-cost break (in the school holidays, anyway) and obviously targets professionals and their offspring.
You only have to take a look in the car park to see that: they are always chockablock with people carriers, Volvos and Chelsea tractors and my Boden-o-meter was red hot as youngsters of all ages ran around in the uniform of the reasonably affluent.
These people run their holidays like a military campaign to get the most out of their days.
Planning is definitely the key, but it is at this vital stage where we fell down. Although seasoned Parc-ers, we didn't design our days particularly well, which meant a lot of hanging around waiting for the next activity to begin - and a lot of coffee being drunk in the Sports Café every day.
But, at least the extended breather gave us ample opportunity to explore the site. Center Parcs prides itself on its green credentials, ploughing money into making the environment as naturalistic as possible (within the obvious confines of a barbed wire fence at the perimeter).
There was certainly plenty of nature spotting to be done: giant redwood trees to amaze at; a dozen or so lakes to spot ducks; forests where a variety of birds, including some rare species, can be spotted; little nooks and crannies where bunnies and other animals can be found.
It is quite a dramatic landscape for a holiday park and in parts, Longleat is very hilly, which will render anyone not fit gasping for breath when attempting to cycle.
The hills, coupled with a long and twisting boardwalk that connects two parts of the 450 acre village, are just too much like the Tour de France for some people. By whom, of course, I mean me. A land train is provided for those who are defeated by their yearly attempts to ride a bike.
I did, however, manage the four-minute flat cycle between the holiday lodge and the swimming pool with no problems. Just as well, really, as we, like most other Parcers, spent an awful lot of time there - probably because it is free.
I may be wrong, but the domed pool felt smaller than those at the other three sites and the toddler area, with its short slides, was very bijou. One thing we tried this year, for the first time, was to go to the pool during the evening. It was rather magical to be swimming in a heated, gently lit outdoor pool, surrounded by steam when it was absolutely freezing and dark.
And as there were far fewer people there, it was more relaxing, and the changing rooms less scrum-like. At peak times, you are lucky to be able to find a changing room.
Another first this time was to hire a babysitter so my husband and I could go out for dinner at the French-inspired restaurant La Sapienière. Our sitter arrived dead on time and our excited children pounced on her to tell her everything that they'd been up to. Within three minutes, they were happy and we scarpered.
La Sapinière is a jewel in Center Parcs' crown. New England-cum-France in style, this spacious restaurant offers excellent cuisine in a way that would surprise many. Most of the food served at Center Parcs' restaurants and cafes is in the fair to disappointing range, but there were no complaints here. Everything was perfectly executed, service was top notch and for the quality of food, good value. I'd recommend it to anyone.
The question was, however, after dashing about hither and thither, was when could I relax? The answer was glaringly obvious: the Aqua Sana spa for a deep tissue massage.
I endured an hour of exquisite agony. Never have my neck, shoulders, back and legs been pummelled and dug into with such vigour before.
Eye-wateringly painful at times, thanks to all the knots and lactic acid being teased out of my muscles, the therapist managed to ease my headache with the uplifting essential oils and my back went from ironboard stiffness to (almost) pliable. The next day I felt as if I'd been ten rounds with Lennox Lewis.
I wouldn't want one every week, but that is the only thing I could say that about at Center Parcs. The children feel the same: all they want to know is when they can return.
