There are times when you need to get far from the madding crowd ... and from the pirates.

Pirate avoidance is not something I’ve done much of as they tend to be quite scarce in the sea-free Midlands.

However, at Alton Towers little (and big) buccaneers were running amok due to a pirate weekend being organised at the popular resort.

Alton Towers is obviously famous for the heart-stopping thrill rides in its theme park. These are closed over the winter but Alton Towers Hotel and Splash Landings Hotel remain open, and holding events likes this are a good way of attracting families off season.

There are still thrills to be had in the water park, which is undercover so can operate in all weathers. Inflatable inner tubes replace motorised carriages and you can find yourself being propelled at high speeds round curving courses before landing in a pool of water at the bottom.

Even on a damp weekend in February the water park was extremely popular and there were queues for the most popular rides like the Master Blaster (which I ended up going down and round in backwards, in the dark) and Rush ‘n’ Rampage.

In contrast the Alton Towers spa was a haven of peace and tranquillity. Tucked away at the other end of the Alton Towers hotel it was a child (over 16s only) and pirate free zone. Perfect for mum, or dad, to take break for a few hours while their other half looked after the kids.

There was another swimming pool here, but with a jacuzzi and whirlpool in the place of flumes. It has a Roman-esque theme with lots of mosaic tiles everywhere. Slippers and robes were provided.

The relaxation rooms included an Edwardian traditional sauna complete wooden benches, a eucalyptus steam room, where you could sit in your own alcove and be soothed by the presence of quartz crystals and the scent of eucalyptus, a tepidarium where you could lay back on heated ceramic recliners (all the rage in spas at the moment) and watch the twinkling ceiling lights change colour, laconium, which had more heated ceramic recliners and was essentially a sauna mild enough for even pregnant women to use.