A father accused of driving his car into a freezing river in Worcestershire in an attempt to murder his two children has told a jury he can barely remember how they ended up in the water.
Christopher Grady's five-year-old daughter Gabrielle died after being trapped underwater at the River Avon in Evesham. His then six-year-old son Ryan, who was on the back seat of the car when it began to sink, was rescued by police divers.
Grady, 42, allegedly rang their mother warning her she had seconds to say goodbye to her children.
At the start of the defence in his trial at Birmingham Crown Court, Grady was asked by his lawyer Timothy Raggatt QC how he felt about Ryan and Gabrielle.
Grady said: "They were my world, I loved them ...I had five children and I loved all of my children more than anything in the world. I still do."
Grady, who denies murdering Gabrielle and the attempted murder of Ryan, told the court he could remember little about how he ended up in the river.
He said: "I can remember vaguely driving round the field, just driving round the field."
Recalling the moment his car hit the water, he said: "I just heard a really strange noise, like a catherine wheel, and I now know that was when the car had took off. And there was a big bang.
"The bang was the car ... landing flat onto the river. I turned round to Gabby and said, 'what the f**k have I done?'
"Ryan turned round and he said, 'something really bad dad."'
Grady sobbed and covered his face with his hands as he told jurors he never intended to hurt his children.
He said: "It wouldn't matter how depressed, how ever I felt, I would never ever harm any of my children, never. It's never entered my mind.
"I just never would do it. When my car went into the river I didn't even know the river was there.
"I was driving down a field, I was just driving down a field. I would never ever hurt any of my children deliberately."
Grady added: "It is possibly the hardest thing any father can ever have to deal with, losing their child.
"But to lose their child and be blamed for it is just like 100 times worse than just losing the child, so I don't really know what kind of words can make me say how I feel about it to tell the truth."